Mother and Father, do not underestimate the effect of words that are brought up on children. The study found that inadequate sentences that he heard continuously, could make it difficult for children to manage emotions and difficult to form social relationships as adults.
Maybe you consider the words you often say to children when scolding them as normal. However, it could be precisely this sentence that makes children more disobedient.
This Sentence May Be Often the Mother Said
Mother is in a hurry to cook before leaving for work. It's just that, The Eldest and Youngest alternately came with various requests. From making cheese sandwiches, asking where the sock is next to, to asking where to go this weekend. The confused mother went out of control and said, "Yes! Don't bother Mother again! "
Mother is not alone. Almost all mothers must have experienced feelings of remorse for accidentally saying things that might hurt your child. Below are a few examples of sentences that can have a negative impact on children.
1. "Don't disturb Mother!"
Mothers do need time and space for themselves, separate from children. But, continually telling the child that you don't want to be disturbed, can make him reluctant to re-interact with you.
2. "You're really shy / chatty / naughty"
Labeling children by saying so will only strengthen the nature of the Mother of criticism. Even words like "You are so lazy," "You are hard to manage," can hurt a child's heart and affect his own perception. At other times, even though you don't talk directly to your child, you might accidentally hear when you talk about it to other people.
3. "You make Mother angry huh!"
It's okay if you really feel upset. However, this sentence will only worsen the atmosphere and relationship with the child. This sentence actually aims to use guilt as a motivation for children to change. However, this sentence makes it easy for children to feel anxious and inferior, because he considers himself responsible for the feelings of others.
4. "What's wrong with you?"
This sentence might just appear when you find a child doing something you don't understand, like cutting his own hair, or losing his item repeatedly. However, the sentence will also make him feel something is wrong with him. Mother needs to remember that the child has a goal for every action. This is the purpose that Mother needs to understand. Using shame, fear, and guilt in children will not succeed in the long run, because it makes the child the source of the problem and does not focus on the real problem.
5. Don't cry!
Saying "Don't cry," "Don't be whiny," "Don't be like a baby," will make the child feel that what he feels is inappropriate and that sadness is wrong. As a result, he will get used to denying and not accepting his own feelings.
6. Why aren't you like your sister?
Comparing Little will only make him feel insecure and may want to be someone else. Mothers need to remember that each child grows according to the speed and readiness of each.
Using Positive Sentences in Children
Every family does have their own parenting style or parenting. However, parenting should be applied to build mutual respect and respect, which is reflected in the words spoken to each other. Let's try, Bun, replace negative sentences to be more positive.
1. Show enthusiasm
Encourage your child to talk about his daily life so that he is accustomed to expressing his feelings. For example, "Your teacher said you made a goal in a soccer match? Mother want to hear the story, please ". That way he will grow into a person who is confident, important, and deserves attention.
2. Remind the consequences of his actions
Little often gets up late, so late to come to school. Instead of saying, "Mother has said many times do not wake up late. You don't care, "it's better to choose a more rational sentence. If he can be invited to think, Mother can say things like, "A trip to school in half an hour. So if you wake up late, you should explain the reason to the teacher and get a red point. "Sentences like this do not judge, do not control or show anxiety. However, children will learn to be aware of the consequences of their actions.
3. Recognize and accept the child's feelings
Instead of denying, it's better to get your child to recognize and accept the emotions he is feeling. By recognizing feelings, he will more easily express and make others also understand how he feels. Mother can help him by saying a sentence like, "Are you sad that yesterday's test scores were not as expected? It is okay. We will study again later. "
4. Show if there is an attitude that is not acceptable
Mother can start with a sentence like, "Mother is sad if you slam the door," or "How does your friend feel when you take the toy?" This sentence will show that his behavior is unacceptable. Then Mother can discuss what the child should do other than anger.
5. Ask for help when busy
If there is something to be done that demands focus, Mother can ask for help from relatives or household assistants to look after Little for a while. When he is old enough, you can tell him, "You have to do something quickly. You can draw a moment, yes. When it's finished, we'll go together. "
Choosing better sentences makes Mother and Father invite children to learn to make better choices, including their attitude toward others. The most important thing, Mother and Father also need to avoid complaining or talking about negative things around the child. Children will quickly imitate the behavior of adults around them. Be aware, choosing the correct pronunciation of sentences in children is actually one of the important things in educating children.
Mother and Father, from now on choose to say more positive sentences to children, to each other, and to those around you.
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